Friday, September 23, 2011


People are constantly telling me how much the dink and baby K look alike, especially the people who knew the dink as an infant, like daycare workers and friends. I've always agreed in their lookalikeness. Right after K was born, I told my family that when I looked at him for the first time, I had the strange sensation that I'd had the same baby twice. But that soon changed. After time, after you've stared at your child intently for so long that you've memorized every single aspect of its face, you start to only look at the eyes. You scan over the blueberry stains on their lips and peanut butter in their hair and ever-present bruises on their legs and focus on reading into what each and every look of theirs is communicating. And that's where my two boys differ.

They're both sensitive, I'll give them that. But for D, his sensitivity is almost tactile. When you fuss at him, it doesn't just hurt his feelings, it physically hurts his ears. He responds to almost all of my admonitions with a pitiful "Don't yell at me, Mommy!" And his eyes, pained. Deep down, or maybe not that deep but beyond the surface for sure (i.e. not always in line with his actions) he just wants to be perfect--to do the right thing, have the right answer, to please and to respond in a way that meets or exceeds everyone's expectations. I supposed he's a "classic" first born.

But K isn't as concerned with what people think. (This is the kid who cried for four months straight, after all.) The other day, a nice lady in Sam's was trying to make K smile, and after 8-9 attempts, just when I thought (prayed) that he was finally on the verge of giving this poor lady at least a grin, he started crying right in her face. Even though he had been giggling his head off at my antics only moments earlier. K is quite selective in the people he wants to please. But still sensitive. He loves to be caressed and cuddled like nobody's business. Early on in daycare, two of his teachers told me in their own ways that they had discovered that baby K went to sleep easier when he was snuggled up super, super close, and even allowed to place his hand in someone's cleavage. And he's not growing out of it. When we were at the beach recently, I realized that his eyes would roll back in his head in pleasure every time I gently rubbed the sunscreen into his face and scalp.

And at the tender age of 8 months, he's learned what it means when Mommy says "no"; his eyes are so tender at the sound of my firm voice. I remember taking D to his 9 month doc appointment, and Dr. W. asking me his series of questions to gauge the dink's developmental milestones. One question was "Does he understand when you tell him no?" And I laughed to myself at the time. What in the world would I have to tell him no about? He didn't get into the trash (Keane), didn't put random objects his mouth (Keane), and didn't crawl up the shower curtain and pull it back to let water spray all over the bathroom every time I took a shower (Keane). At the time, I truly couldn't fathom ever fussing at baby dink. But poor K--he's been hearing no for months now. And finally responding. Not only does he stop what he's doing in his tracks, but he startles, looks at me with his intense blue eyes not like he's hurt that I would fuss at him, but like he can't believe he got caught. I have to admit, my hands feel pretty full right now. I hesitate a bit for when my cup runneth over...

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